Day 85: Let it shine

Luckily it has been sunny recently in London so it's not to hard to sleep rough, I've just been dossing in parks and sleeping on benches, I usually hide in libraries on cold nights. I assume that Fade is still sat in the room staring at the woman, I just want to be back at the place, if I'm gonna have these nightmares I might as well be comfy.

This one was different, we were in Fade's place, he was sitting by the fire reading a book, but looking over the top at the woman, he has the ticking man beside him, it looks like he's whispering something to Fade, so I moved closer.

TM: The child doesn't know?
F: No he doesn't.
TM: So the true nature of our plan stays in our control, all we have to do is wait for this 'woman' to stabilise?
F: Yes, well need all the help we can get to achieve this.
TM: I knew taking you before the Slender Man killed you would benefit me, are you tired?
F: Yes.
TM: Doesn't that woman seem  warm, why not kiss her see how it feels.
F: No I can't
TM: Why?
F: I'd be turned into one of them then, I thought you needed me?
TM: I do I was just checking something, bring the boy back soon she is almost ready.

A day or two have passed but Fade hasn't come, it was only a dream.

Day 81: O... kay then?

Possibly one of the weirdest events today, Fade came back with a woman soaked to the bone and covered in some weird stuff, she also had a really vacant expression on her face. You know what Fade did, he dumped her on the floor I heard a wet thump as she hit so she wasn't too badly hurt especially as she didn't cry out in any pain.

P: Ummm, what's happening?
F: *Wiping his hands on a spare towel hanging around * A fear servant, I'm not sure what to do with her yet, get her out of those clothes, they're filthy, and although she won't get hypo thermia I want her to be dry *HE smiled as he threw his shirt into the Fire* I'll be in the shower if you need me.

So I set out to clean her up and undress her, I got most of the way done, but when I looked for clothes ti put on her I couldn't find any. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised I'm wearing one of Fade's Suits and have been wearing the same one since I started.

P: Fade I can't find any clothes, what should I do?
F: *Poking his head out of the shower* Are all the wet clothes off her?
P: Yes.
F: Really?
P: Well she still has underwear on I guess.
F: Then take it off.
P: But then she'll be naked?
F: Oh for Fuck's sake *Pops his head back in, comes back out with dry suit trousers on* How old are you?

He takes off the underwear takes a towel and dries her, he picks her up around the waist and hauls her over to a room I've been using to sleep in, he sets her down in a corner and leaves telling me to keep an eye on her, whilst he finishes showering.

P: What about the clothes she's still naked
F: *Tosses towel inside the room near her* See she doesn't care now keep an eye on her, oh and  if she starts copying you don't worry it's normal, be worried when she speaks for herself.
P: Wait what?

He leaves, I just sat opposite her she kept looking blankly into the middle distance, she didn't even try to cover herself up. I was uncomfortable with her being naked so I went over and put the towel round her.

P: There we wouldn't want you getting could now would we?
Woman: There we wouldn't want you getting could now would we? *She picks up the towel and put's it round me and looks at me like I'm the one that needs looking after, her expression changes to quizzical, she leans closer in, her face was so close to mine..... I almost*

I feel strong arms around me I feel the heat of an actual human being, twisting me I see the woman going up and looks like she's dragging someone back into her corner. I am thrown out side,

F: I told You to watch her not try to cop off with 'er! *Yeah he drops his h's when he's angry*
P: Hey it wasn't me, she was leaning towards me, I....I....
F: No, She in the Fucking Mimic stage, you was leaning in, if you let 'er kiss yah, you'd be brown bread and I wouldn't be able to 'elp yah. Understood?
P: But.. But...
F: UNDERSTOOD!?
P: I guess so...

He leaves me sitting there shocked, he sit opposite her talking intermittently, it looked like the most intent staring match I've seen.

P: Don't You want me to get your shirt?
F+W: No
P: Are you sure, it's right in the, and you look...
F: Fuck off, I need to make sure she doesn't pose any risk, when she stops the mimic stage you can interact, so then you can come back, for now leave, I'll find you when I need you.
W: *looks at me* I'll find you when I need you.
F: *Turns from  me* Oi, shut up.
W: Oi, shut up.

I left so I'm on my onesome for now, I still feel odd after that, I did notice she had water coming out of different holes, it was odd, I'm sure Fade's noticed.

Day 78: I... thought they were gone

The nightmares, but they are different this time, the ticking is louder than ever and there is a laugh that comes with it, a grating..... almost metallic, laugh. I'm back home, in my room, the door is still there but it's opened this time, and there is a face, I can see it now, it has what looks like many tiny sharp teeth, I know it's odd to say but like the kind you'd find on a clock gear. It had the same sparkling eyes, it wore a coat that had moving gear on it, it was always in motion. His head twitched a little and jerked on its neck, but it's smile didn't move that smile, those teeth were disconcerting to say the least. He took a leg and moved it so he was fully in the moonlight, for some reason, I... I couldn't scream just watch as the ticking got louder as he got closer, his manner reminded me of those clowns you see in horror movies, that look of, murderous joy. He came closer with the smile, right to my face, he pulled out a watch from the pocket of his waist coat, and his smile seemed to drop a bit. 'Oh bother your times not up yet, he must still have need for you, don't worry, I'll clean the clock and wipe your slate clean, all you have to do is make a choice, one very simple choice....'

I was woken up by Fade's 'stray' foot, that jolted me awake, I told him about the dream.

P: What does it mean?
F: (He looked slightly agitated  It means that you may have a choice, but whether that choice is truly yours you can't know.
P: Why do you seem afraid?
F: Afraid, pah, I don't feel fear you know that, it just means thing are going well, We will make the world anew and save it.
P: Ok....... Fade?
F: Ja?
P: How do you make the ticking stop.
F: (He smiles and laughs,  that makes me feel uneasy) Well it's very simple you see..... (He turns to look at me) you don't.

Days 63-75: Dreams of genocide

I haven't been posting recently as Fade has been 'training' me hard, but I can hardly call it training it is basically him just beating me up between his 'jobs'. Like a week ago he came back with a bag and just tossed into the fire I was using to keep myself warm, I would have thought he'd trust me more considering he controls my life, he must be concerned because he told me to get a voice recorder, he says that some of the things he's involved in will cause me to lose time, or forget things I've done during the day, he says having the recorder will help me tell if any of this stuff has happened, because if it does..... he may have to kill me. Thing is I don't doubt he will, but maybe it'd be better, die me,  you know, since he will change me make me into him.

Ok might as well start off what this post is meant for,

Fade took me for a little sight seeing tour, took me to Africa I think we appeared in a desert, it was hot and dry, and very painful.

F: What do you see?
P: Sand, alot of sand.
F: Look again.
P: Still sand, is there a point to this I think I preferred cold England.
F: There is a point, this place used to be full of life 10 years ago, but the desert swept in, destroying all but the hardiest forms of life. *Fade picks up an ant that is covered in Silver*
But in it's essence it is death, this sand you see comes from rocks and animals that used to live millenia ago. They are gone now however, but this place used to be full of life at the beginning of our lives, you know what changed that, killed the area.
P: Didn't take you for one of the global warming party.
F: Humans did cause this, they have disrupted the machine, and believe themselves above the consequences that their actions wrought. This is why we do what we do, we kill people because the world cries out in pain and not one of them listens to the true wish of the world. The world for death, the Death of Humanity.
P: Dude, that's crazy, even for you, you're talking about mass genocide, the death of an entire species, what about your family, people you cared about.
F: I have no family and neither do you, if you turned up to your house now as you are they would be scared of you and, possibly, try to kill you. Humans have performed genocide of countless species, for sport, gluttony or just for the 'hell of it'.

*A hum almost a roar came up like from a great distance, the dunes also shifted*

P: What the hell was that.
F: The sands crying out for water, remembering a time when water flowed down there slopes, now only the sand pours like the water hoping it will do some good, you can see the world calls out in pain as it dies.
P: But then you'd have to die, me and you, and everyone, proxy and runner and innocent.
F: There are no innocents, they all choose to live this life, besides I've been dead for a long time now, and you became dead as soon as you came with me. You have no hope of a life outside of this, this is our purpose, we must perform it, to keep the machine ticking over, to maintain balance.
P: But...
F: We better get  moving you'll probably faint if you stay out here any longer.

We appear back in a London full of rain, we find a place that Fade obviously stays at sometimes, I can tell from the knives on the wall, and the blood soaked rags by the fire next to the suits.

F: Okay *He says with a flamboyant twirl and putting the hat he was wearing on a stand* Lets get started.

The room dissolved and I appeared in a road in as a city devoid of life and sound, only Fade stood in front of me, when suddenly he peeled away into a million pieces I was left alone, I heard Fade whisper, "Fight this". I started running trying doors and cars, until I heard the hiss fizz of a lighter behind me, Fade was there with a cigarette hanging limply form his lips as he smiled. "Running won't save you", he said as the cigarette flared and he disappeared into smoke, I closed my eyes trying to tell myself this was just one of his tricks. "Oh now would I resort to such lows", I smelt the smoke as he lent down to my ear, I opened my eyes and he was hanging upside down in mid air, "Boo". I ran again, but when I ran round one corner Fade clothes-lined me, "Oh sorry let me help you  up" he took my hand and threw me 20 feet in the air, all I could think was impossible, then he appeared to float in the air as I rose and rose. When I came back to his level he grabbed me by the throat, his cigarette still lazily flaring between his lips, he squeezed, I went light headed, it all went black, I came to in the room.

P: The fuck was that!?
F: A dream *He said lighting another cigarette*
P: It felt pretty real.
F: That's the point, that is how they get you sometimes, you need to know how to fight in a dream, because they will,  I could have kept you there forever, and tortured in ways so unimaginable my mind tries to forget them. You need to learn how to change the physics to suit your needs, so that you can win, he said holding what seemed like a flame in his head.
P: Can't you just do something normal for once.

He smiles with the cigarette in his teeth,

F: Now what fun would that be.

Day 63: The doctor is in

The title may give this away but it doesn't involve only that element of the world of which I am now a resident. This day actually started with Fade appearing out of nowhere like he usually does after long absences, and telling me to wake up, not really showing any care if I did or didn't. You see Fade generally just leaves me alone most of the time whilst he..... 'works', this time when he appeared we went to do training, fighting training, now I didn't have many fights whilst I was in primary school, or secondary school for that fact, I mostly hung out in the woods behind and slunk off to do other more, interesting things. Fade somehow did not deem this suitable for my current situation, with his only indication we were starting being throwing a fist at my face, I ducked just in time, or so I thought I felt my neck being dragged upwards and an arm compressing my airways, and a thin line of cold just below that. You're dead, was what he said and continued to come at me, I think, THINK don't hit me daddy, I got a hit on him but it didn't seem to affect him, and he just planted me on my arse, again -_-. He taught me how to jab, do a right and left cross, throw a decent right hook, he still beat my arse all the way to the end of the day though.

F: Well, you got better as we went on. I think you deserve an Ice cream.
P: Ice cream? You're training me to kill people and we're getting Ice cream?
F: Yes, is that odd?
P: No, no, no, people are usually more somber or serious when it's a matter of life or death.
F: Someone else's, not your's, do you want Ice cream or not, if you continue to be a whiny child you won't get any.
P: Besides the point it's Fucking Freezing 'cause of the snow, how can you do something as normal as get ice cream when you're being chased by these... Things..
F: Fears.
P: These Fears, who can just pick you up and kill you anytime they like.
F: I swear you were much more laid back about this a few days ago, the Fears aren't as omnipotent as you seem to believe, true they are powerful embodiments of what we fear most, but that is where their main power comes from. Servants die because they fear their masters. One second. *he vanishes coming back kicking up some snow as he does so, with an Ice cream* They alter their lives and mannerisms to please them, out of fear, so when they do eventually displease them the servant is already doomed.
P: Well we weren't doing something as normal as Ice cream then, why aren't you more cautious?
F: Why? They've tried to kill me many times, yet here I still am, I still can't remember my previous life, or lives, all I have is knowledge. I don't know if the man I was before liked chocolate Ice cream *lifting the ice cream to indicate*, or preferred mint. I don't know if he was kind or cruel, all I know is that I, am alive and that I won't be worrying about being plucked out just yet.
P: What about other people?
F: Other people aren't me, if it suits me to kill them I will.
P: It would have suited you to kill Sarah, why didn't you?
F: You asked me not to, my life would not be enriched nor diminished by killing her, it's not like she has a chance to kill me, what can she do that the fears can't?
P: I guess so... just one more question..
F: Ok, what?
P: Who's he?

*Fade turns to look where I'm pointing, but the disinterested look on his face remains the same*

F: He... is the plague Doctor, now mind your manners and don't speak unless spoken to, understood?
P: Yes.
F: Good boy, have a cookie.
* Hand me a chocolate cookie from his pocket*

We walk over and Fade starts talking, having a one sided discussion with a silent person.

F: Hello Doc, seems I forgot my apple today. *HE said with a cocky grin*
F: Oh is that so, unfortunately if you talk to Slender wits I'm not letting this one go.
F: Ohhhh, no need for that language, I didn't even know you could swear like that, I feel dirty.
F: You want me to be serious, oh Doc you know I can't be that way, you lot made sure of that a long time ago.
F: Killing me? Yeah that might work, you could all have a go at the same time, that's if you could stand each others presence for longer than 2 minutes.
F: Why do you want him for that anyway, he's just a normal human nothing special, he'll probably end up like all the others.
F: Which one's? The Dead ones of course, he's not your's he's mine, I laid claim on him months ago, or do you wanna talk to your 'little' brother about it?
F: You can have him when I'm done with him, don't worry when the plans done you can have him, I thought that was common knowledge?
P: Don't I get a say in this, I'm assuming you're talking about my life.

*Fade grabs me by the throat and lifts me up so that my toes are barely touching the floor, his eyes were fierce and cold*
F: I said be quiet didn't I?
P: Sorry.... I forgot.
*He squeezed harder*
F: Sorry?
*I nod and he lets go*
F: Well he's gone now anyway, sorry I had to do that Doctors orders *He said, all traces of murder gone from his face*
P: SO that ice cream yeah?
F: I knew you'd want one.
He said taking the last bite of his own, smiling.

Day 60: Two months?

How did this all change in two months, that short time ago I was more worried about getting money, or a job, not about staying alive. I didn't think anyone would be dying soon, I was thinking how much I loved Sarah, how maybe I'd change my life for her. But that was another life, two months seems to change a man.

HE changed me most this week.

I went to see Sarah to try and convince her to come with me, there is nothing she will gain if she stays here. I went during the night in foresight probably not the best time, but I was afraid of the response if people saw me out in the day, I am suppose to be dead after all. I started by knocking at her window, she must have heard me, must have refused to turn round thinking I might be that creepy face guy. Again looking back I might not have made the best choice by having Fade teleport me in there and touching her on the shoulder asking if she was awake, she screamed so loudly.

Luckily Fade put up some sort of 'field' around us so no noise could get out,I have to admit this guy does come in handy. I tried to talk to her, but when she saw Fade she flipped out, thankfully he was able to convince her it was a dream, quite a silver tongue on him.

I tried to take her with me but she refused, saying I was evil for following Fade at all, he just sat reclining on her desk chair, one leg draped over the armrest inspecting a rubix's cube, apparently not listening but piping up.

F: She's a proxy now, sorry.
P: What?
F: For tall dark and faceless, she longed for the scent of the forest, the scent that clings for me, she looked for him and found him.
P: No.....
S: You seriously don't believe him, do you?
P: She's right, why would she?
F: Because she's human, she fears death, how else do you conquer it unless you join it. She heard I was powerful and tried to be like me.
S: Baka, you can't believe him over me what proof does he have empty words, what proof do you have?
*Fade gets up with a smug grin on his face, he walked over to her and tore the back of her shirt, I saw a circle with an x in the center of it, she screamed, I went to punch him he just kicked me in the stomach and threw me on the chair*
P: What the hell are you doing?
F: Proof (He said with a distinct lack of ceremony)
P: Given it's weird but people can have tattoos.
F: (He sigh like he exasperated) It's the symbol of The Slender Man, The Dark Gentleman, Tree man, the Tall man, Timor Lignum Homo, Pre 01. It is called the operator symbol. (He gives me Sarah's laptop, and tells me to type it in, he never truly takes Sarah out of his sights, though I doubt he would need to)
P: There's a file on here, it has my name on it, and everything, an my date of death.
F: She's be spying on you, it seems my old master wants to interfere with my new play thing, I really should buy a new suit and lose the leaf smell, but I just can't bring myself to so it.
P: (I Turn to her) Is it true?
S: (Her manner changes like she's dropping an act)  Fine, no use pretending anymore, yes I am a servant of father ...
F: That's what they call Tall, dark and nutless.
S: You, and this former Muse have been assigned as my first target, if I can kill you two then I shall be free from death, no monsters shall come for me....
F: Yes, but I think you forgot one monster...
S: Who
F: (HE takes on a maniacs smile, and pulls a knife from his pocket) Well me of course.
* He rushes towards her, she's scrambling for something, a gun, time slows down I see her pull he trigger I see Fade crouch before it goes off him sweeping the gun into a wide arc, about to drive the knife to the left armpit.... I heard something, it sounded like my voice but coming from outside me*
P: Stop
*Fade looks back slightly disappointed taking the Gun off Sarah*
F: You know she won't stop until she kills you right?
P: No she won't.
F: Ah but who says I will always be there.
P: The Clock Man

Weirdly no one noticed oh Fade is so very good.

Day 54: Why

I haven't posted much because, because Fade made me choose didn't tell me what I was choosing just to choose. It's taken me 5 days to find somewhere to type this and post, been 5 days since they had to suffer.

Soon after I had published the post, Fade came back

F: You know what? I just can't contain myself, choose.
P: Choose what?
F: To stay, or Run
P: No I can't not to Sarah or my family.
F: You think their safe here, with you, Choose.
P: ..... Run.
F: Good, Take the girl or leave her.
P: Wha..
F: No questions from you just answer.
P: Take her
F: Tonight or Tomorrow?
P: Tomorrow.
F: Unfortunately that one is out of your hands  already due to one of the choices you already made, see if you stayed this would have been later, but now your little brother is currently falling from a very altitudious position, and when he's discovered missing tomorrow morning, the will be his blood on your carpet *HE takes a syringe and squirts quite a bit of blood over my room* NOw that's a devil t get out.
P: No don't kill my brother.
F: I didn't you did with your choices you wanted to leave your family so they'd be safe, your brother shall be safe on the ground in a bout 2 minutes.
P: Please, I'll do what ever you want. just don't kill my brother.
*He stands there for what seemed an eternity as the clock ticked I saw the second hand coming close to marking the end of the two minutes and he disappeared* (I Felt so much relief at that moment, then Fade came back with my brother asleep in his arms)
F: You said whatever I want.
P: Yes.
F: I want you to kill someone.
P: Why?
F: Why Not?
P: But you've got to have a reason.
F: Well paradoxically it does to show that now everything is permitted, there are no police to help you, no authority to admonish you. This is to show you there doesn't need to be a reason or a care when it comes to life or death.
P: W...Who?
F: You remember your friend Steve right?
P: He's already dead.
F: Oh that's what they want you to believe, he is currently the servant of another being higher than the ticking man, on level with his master.
P: Why?
F: I'll give you a little incentive if you don't kill him, I will extremely slowly and extremely painfully.
P: ok
F: Good, Here's a door, on the other side is your friend and here, here is a knife, got start you off somewhere.
*Another door appears, I open it, there's a dark room, with whispers in it, I can't see anything, possibly seeing my anxiousness Fade kicks me square in the back into the room, closing the door behind me.*

I couldn't see anything, all I could do is heat and feel, I walked as I normally would, I heard a growl in the distance, Steve wasn't in there, Fade just put me in here with a beast so I would die. I listened I heard heavy foot falls, and something sniffing the air, I also heard something like the claws of something light skimming across the floor, and I swear I saw two glowing orbs but they vanished as soon as I saw them. I continued walking, it was the only thing I could so, I started calling Steve's name, in the hope he was still alive and we could escape. I heard the scratching again of claws but they were closer. This happened for 10 minutes I guess just silence and then the scratching closer and the orbs hanging in the air. Until I felt something Touch my shoulder, I turned around and stabbed at it, this was when the light came in all I saw was Steve with a knife in his chest, with a sort of dim incomprehension, then he coughed and choked a bit on blood, he just stared at me, until he fell.

I heard the footsteps behind me, turned around to see Fade,

F: See wasn't that hard, you didn't hesitate for a second.
P: I thought he was going to kill me
F: People are always trying to kill you. As you know by now you are mine, I will destroy you, one emotion at a time, sever every human connection with whatever instrument I deem fit. In the you will thank me, and my destruction of you will be complete. This is the torture, you know my plan, yet you can't change it, you can't go home knowing you killed your friend. You may return to the human world, I shall see you eventually, possibly at your funeral.
P: My... (I didn't get very far he broke my neck but I was still alive, I watched family members pass and mourn, I heard the earth pile on top of the coffin, I heard the cries of my mother as I was lowered in. When what I guess night came, Fade seemed to appear right on top of me)
F: Very cosy isn't it?
P:......
F: Oh right you can't talk. Just give, me a second to get us out of this, I think my suit would be ruined by staying under ground too long.

(He took me out the grave and fixed my neck, letting me go free like a whale, he said, I'm alone he gave me choices just to taunt me that I had none, I would kill myself but I'm a coward so I can't)