Confrontation with a ghost

Fade has been going on as normal..... that's it, that's the strange thing I want to say he has become depressed or gone insane but he is just the same. He saves a child's life and he just act as if that's normal... actually? Is this normal, for him? I swear he vanished. Quite literally out of existence, yet here he is more than a month later and he's normal, during that time everything he's planned seems to have gone to shit. He's also taken to not talking, well to me at least, so it means I've started talking to someone who's turned up recently.... another proxy..... Sarah.

I know for those of you reading this it seems ridiculous, the woman tried to kill me, I know but she said she's sound a new deal with a new abomination and since she isn't contractually obligated to kill me that she would come find me. I actually asked her why she risked facing Fade who probably wouldn't take to kindly to her being in his house, especially after she tried to kill him and me. AS if sensing us talking about him Fade came outside, Sarah said with a weird little smile "oh, that's been taken care of hasn't it?" this led to Fade staring at her with obvious distrust but he didn't make any movement that what she said was untrue, this is why I've been talking with Sarah. Since Fade's grown as distant as he used to be and Malice is called back more often to his abomination since Fade's plan fell apart.

Well that's it for today not much to report.

Curiouser and curiouser

Curious, as in Fade returning quite non chalently in the middle of the night, kicked me out of his bed and slipped in. I woke up the nest morning to find him in a clean suit, shaved and with his mask on, he didn't say anything to me, just sort of stared off into the middle distance and when Malice came in, as non chalently as Fade did last night, giving him a simple, what's up, and nothing more. Fade stayed silent until he left again, which led me to question Malice.

P: Malice?
M: What is it now Pete?
P: What's wrong with Fade?
M: *Gives a shrug* I don't know, he has been gone for a decent amount of time, maybe something happened to teh kid, maybe he's been replaced by a robot.
P: Can they do that? * I asked jokingly*
*Malice just raised his eyebrows, not saying no*
P: Though seriously you treated it as if nothing has happened, why didn't you even ask him how he was?
M: I did, I asked him What's up.
P: That's not what I mean, aren't you curious to know what happened, what he's thinking, how he feels about this?
M: I thought I told you this already, though it seems I need to make it even more clear. Fade hs gone through alot, he's died quite a few times, injured quite severly, been ripped from his family, Twice. The man you saw go out hat door, may not be the Same Fade, he may not even call himself Fade anymore. That man knows things about the Fears we don't need to, or want to. You see Pete, the reason I don't ask him how he's doing, or what's wrong, is because I don't want to know, because I um unlikely to understand what he's feeling, he has a unique and sometimes confounding moral philosophy, he scares and intrigues me all at the same time.
P: Well, you still should have asked.
M: Did you?
P:..... No
M: Then shutup you idiot, or maybe Siran will tell on you.

yes Curious.

Your nightmares never leave you

They're back, stranger and more vivid than I remember, but I wasn't in my room at my normal house, I was at Fade's, I heard the Tick, the ticking that was always there, though as it grew louder I realized it wasn't ticking but knocking. I looked around my spartan room and saw a door that shouldn't be there, in the wall by the window, I heard the knocking and heard the voices the voices of the dead coming to whisper in my ear, taunting me, that a psychopath is more moral than me, that I should just follow them, follow them to freedom. I plug my ears and the voices stop, but the knocking continues, even getting louder, that was when the little mechanical men poured out the door, small as ever, poking around my room, prodding around me, like I was something dead they could have fun with. They then stopped however, and I felt dread gut wrenching dread, I realized that the knocking had stopped, I felt an immeasurable amount of fear, the silence meant that the thing that was taunting me was done playing, that whatever was coming for me would stop hiding behind the doors and noises.

I stayed waiting for half an hour, listening to the creaks of the place, until I heard a whistling, upbeat whistling, though through my time with Fade I've learnt that sometimes that's the one you need to be most wary of. It means it's strong enough to let you know it's near. Then he appeared at the foot of my bed, the man of clockwork, the conductor.

P: Why did you scare me like that?!
TC: That*He says looking at the door*..... that isn't me, *showing me a mouth full of bronze teeth* though I could easily let it in, do you want me to?
*He makes his way to the door*
P: No!!!
TC: Thought so.
P: But why are you here, I haven't made my choice, I don't even know me options.
TC: 'Me options' ? You really are beginning to sound like the Muse. You do need to be careful however he will sacrifice you to achieve his own ends without a seconds hesitation.
P: And you won't?
TC: Well.... atleast I'll be honest about it.
P: Wait. Why are you telling me this? Fade's suppose to be one of your favorite servants.
TC: That's why, that's why I want his little plan to fail, because we do need you but for separate reasons, I just like causing trouble amongst the older fears, and plaguie is pretty annoyed he can't get to you. It's just a great deal of fun for me, the Muse however well.... he has own motives.
P: Ok, but what should I do instead?
TC: Use your imagination, I'm sure some of the Muse's rubbed off on you.

HE said this as he faded away tapping me on the forehead, leaving only a smile as I fell back on my bed. I woke up to find it light out, 'Thank god it was a dream.' I said to myself only to find a note on my table, 'You sure about that'

The Fading Ghost

I got on the tube today.... first time in a while and noticed how weird it is to sit in a metal can in the middle of a city, and be isolated from it, no phone signal, no wi-fi, you and you mind, and the few people confined with you. While I was reflecting on this thought I heard the singing of a busker coming down from one of the tunnels usually filled with passengers, mingled in with the tannoy announcements, it gave me a sense of calm..... normality I haven't felt since I began this life..... standing alone in the hall connecting the Piccadilly and northern line I think. This was interrupted by a familiar voice.

F: It's nice isn't it?
* I turn to see Fade sitting with the Kid, his suit filthy and his mask lying next to him*
F: It's where us bit characters stay when the main story doesn't need us..... a transitional place.
P: And what is this story, Fade, or should I call you Manic now?
F: *He chuckles a little* When I know you'll know. The story however, it's the story of life..... somewhere they are kept in a big library, the entirety of human life, condensed to a story.
P: I'm guessing this library is possessed by a fear?
F: It sure is, the most benevolent.
P: A benevolent fear, you are joking?
F: I said most benevolent, he is still very deadly.
P: Okay, so who is it?
F: The Blind Man, Grandfather, the owner of the life of hundreds.
P: I still don't get how he can be even slightly benevolent, I mean he's a Fear.
F: He has the life story of every man, woman and child in his library, all those lives and he has experienced every one of them..... he takes a persons memories.... you cannot open yourself to all that life.... death.... pain................... love, and not fell something.... even God would weep. Then however there are the parodies... the alternate endings, all that could be.... we humans are good at seeing that, and the weight of infinity crushes us, yet we live on, in our story, until the last pen stroke, the last drop of ink has dried.
P: Well.... that's very deep of you Fade but why are you telling me about it?
F: Because Pete, you have become a bit character in your own story, a piece in a much longer story I started a long time ago. Even so, this is real life even bit characters have souls they've touched, someone will always cry.... even for a bit character *He nods to the kid next to him*
P: You really aren't making any sense.... have you finally gone loopy, off your nut!?
F: *He leaps up and grabs my arm* I will show you what I mean.

We teleport to a sunny field filled with tombstones, and a group of people dressed in black.

F: This is the funeral for the person you killed yesterday....his body was found and he was a bit character to your story, but he had his own that you choose to give a full stop to.
P: I wasn't my choice, it's either kill or be killed.
F: * He lights a cigarette and exhales a plume of blue smoke* You always have a choice.
P: No I don't, I....
F: You have the choice to be human, whether you let yourself become dead inside, until you feel nothing... until you are the book you leave behind, when you become part of the Blind Man.
P: What right do you have to lecture me, you have killed many more people than I have.
F: Yes I have, that has given me experience, it has stripped me of every emotion except sadness, I rarely feel pain, if I did then I'd at least know I was alive. What did you feel when you killed that man yesterday?
P: I felt sick and appauled at myself, I...
F: Are a liar, you felt relief, that it was his life not yours that was ended, his full stop. That this time tomorrow his body would be in the ground, and yours wouldn't, even a bit character has  person that cries for them.
P: Then what are you Fade, a bit character, or a full person?
F: I'll show you.
* We teleported again, when we came out the sky was cloudy, we were out side a small, but normal house*
F: Look in the window.
P: Why? *I was feeling uneasy I wondered if Fade was playing a trick on me I still do.*
F: Because I asked you to, though like I sad.... you have a choice.

I walk up to the window and see a woman, not much older than Fade crying, over a battered notebook, with white numbers carved into the leather, filled with some white stuff.  It looked like she had heard a noise, so wiped her eyes and hid the book, a kid came down, I couldn't place his age.. but it looked familiar. It crawled into what I guess was it's mothers lap, I don't think I've seen such abject dispair, the child started to Sob into it's mother's lap, and she held back hers. I turned back to Fade ot ask him who's family it was.

F: The people we kill get off easy, they get a reprieve from the pain and torment we put them through, the families however suffer most, the person most important to them died about 3 months ago.
P: Yes but who's family is it, one of your victims?
F: Yes....

* Turned and walked away, and faded into the rain that had stated*

I looked back through the window and saw two men come into the room with another woman.... I recognised them... they were the people who came after Fade that day, Tom and Grey.

Then it clicked into my head..... that was Fade's family, the people that were hurt most from his killing.

As the Muse Fades the darkness returns

It seems Malice is deciding to stay, apparently he made a promise to Fade before he did what he did, I guess Malice isn't that bad, if you don't think too much about the sadistic mutilation he may put you through. The decision has also been made that we can't let out Siran, apparently she is dangerous even by Malice's reckoning, we can't let her free if we let her free we give her a way to poison an entire city, if we let her go everyone dies. Malice said that it's all Fade's fault aswell, he coaxed just enough of her original self out, enough..... imagination, to make her the deadliest camper in the country. Because where EAT can mimic human speech, and thought.... the imagination is impossible to recreate, you need to be born with it, you need to have a soul, so that's why we can't let her free.

I sometimes drop in to her room when she's sleeping, she doesn't really seem to breath, yes her chest goes up and down but there's no sound or apparent life. She doesn't seem sad, or particularly unhappy with things, to be honest it's almost like she wants to be here, locked in with Malice and I, probably her last two jailers. She hasn't tried anything to escape,  she hasn't even tried to 'turn' me like she did the first time, so it is unsettling, she's planning something I know it.

After the Siran matter was discussed I asked Malice a question;

P: Were you an actual doctor once?
M: Yes, long time ago.
P: What did you specify in?
M: Well, the workings of the humans most inner demons, if I want to sound pretentious, though it was just basic shrink work. Why you ask little ticker?
P: Well..... ever since I've been involved with these... things, I've been having nightmares on and off, they stopped when I joined Fade but, they seemed to have started again. I don't know whether they're real or not, I just want to know if I'm going insane.
M: Yes.
P: What?
M: You are going insane, it's the only way to survive in this world, the dreams themselves are probably just a side effect. What is actually in these dreams?
P: Well when it started it mainly revolved around someone ticking coming from a closet door in my bedroom, which progressed to seeing a man made of gears and clockwork, it even had little minions that scared the shit out of me. My girlfriend, at the time, even saw Fade, and my, um..... best friend saw a dead person before he was taken.
M: What happened to your friend after being taken?
P: HE was killed.
M: By who?
P: Well, you know how this world is better than I do.
M: I do, so sorry.
P: For what?
M: That you had to kill your friend. But I don't think you're done with the dream, go on.
P: This drove me mad, the ticking was never ending, until I finally crow barred open the door and found nothing but an old grandfather clock, now it wasn't working all it had was a note on it. That's when Fade picked me up and forced me to work for him.
M: No he didn't.
P: I think you'll find he did.
M: No he didn't the Muse may be many thing but he doesn't force anyone to do anything, it's not the type of person he is, he merely..... brought the psycho out of you.
P: He did force me, he would have let my brother fall to his death if I didn't say yes.
M: Did you actually see him throw your brother of the roof or high place?
P: .... NO.
M: Then all Fade did was take him back here, Fade doesn't hurt true innocents.
P: He made me Kill my friend.....
M: Did he threaten to kill you, maim you, or other cause harm to your general being or that of your family?
P: No.
M: You seem to have blamed Fade for everything, when all he did was give you a choice, you made the choices, since Fade's known you he has always respected your decisions as long as they kept you alive. But yes the dream go on.
P: Bu...
M: The Dreams.
P: Later, when I had been kicked out since Siran had been brought in and dangerous, I had a dream Fade and this same Ticking man was having a discussion about me, and after that he came and offered me a choice.
M: What was it?
P: I don't know it ended as Fade kicked me awake, I've started having them again though now.... and he always gets a little closer to telling me my choices.
M: Well, if you were to ask me it just sounds like your mind trying to cope with the massive change going on in your life, it's just a case of Bad cheese as I say.
*Malice gets up to leave*
P: But what about the ticking thing in it, the one Fade seems to believe is real?
M: *He turns to look at me wearily* There is no Fear like that, Fade believed a lot of things, some of them not true, also you have to remember the can Muse lie.

Fade has a soul

He seems to have had a soul after all, we were sent on a mission to get a target for that faceless one, Slendy. All Fade knew about the target is that we had to go to a park and wait for the 'Slender shits' to point out the target. We waited for nearly an hour until a filthy looking child came digging around in a bin, and eating what he found on a swing, that is when the tall one appeared, I felt my head pound 'That's the one', Fade without saying a word stood up and walked over to the child, they didn't see him coming up to them since their hood was up. I followed Fade incase he told me to do it, and I think at the time I was very ready to do so if it meant the my survival and the survival of my family. Fade however put his hand up to signal I should stay where I was, he went up to the child and reached into his pocket pulling out some pork scratchings, probably from his trip to the pub the night before. The child was weary at first, it's reaction suddenly changed and it took down it's hood, at which point I saw it was a little boy, with black hair looking dirty, and tired. When I started to walk towards Fade the tall thing put a tentacle infront of me, it burnt like hell so I didn't walk any further and took the hint, this was Fade's thing. I looked over and saw Fade crouched down in his suit to be face to face with the child, he actually looked quite fatherly, did Fade have a family before this, I can't remember. Fade hugged the child and picked him up carrying his cradling it's head and walked to where I was, he stopped a few feet away from the Slender Man, and looked at the boy, who seemed to have drifted off, the Slender Man's voice split my skull saying 'give me the child, Muse you have done well'. Fade looked at the child still who squirmed in his arms and whimpered slightly, 'No' was all he said, 'What!' The Slender Man screamed forcing me to my knees, Fade just stood and looked at him, he started to fade away as he was teleporting away, ' you can have the child when I'm dead, and I'm not quite there yet'. The Slender Man swiped out with a  tentacle trying to catch Fade but it went through empty space where Fade was moments before, unfortunately Slender Man took his anger out on me, so Malice has been patching me up for the past few days, but it seems his little alliance is over.

I doubt that's he last we'll see him, but I do have one thing to say about him.

What a hypocrite.

Fade's Changed

Ever since the secret of his eye was revealed Fade doesn't come out of his room except for missions and tell me to collect certain people, according to him we've gained the trust of birds of a feather, that of the sleeping dogs, rapturous disease, tranquility, the black blood, the lost and cold children, the ticking lord, the creep. Apparently they're the majority we need to fulfill the plan we have set out to achieve, the plan the conductor and he devised, the plan, Fade says, which is the key to his freedom, and the end of my servitude. Siran hasn't showed 'her' face since the last time, but Fade tells me she is still on our side, he means too much to them to let him out of their sight, Malice has also started bringing victims back with him, I hear screams half the night, sobs the other time I swear between the three of them I will go crazy far before the Fears affect me, wait haven't I said that already in an earlier post...... it's official I've lost it...... I've obviously had a hit on my head and am now just dreaming all this, none of this is real, I am in a hospital being treated by normal, non psychotic doctors, surrounded by my loving family, not about to be killed anytime I go outside.

I'm joking I know this is real, also Fades eye thing I'm intrigued by it if anyone on here any information please can you relay it to me, I made a drawing, but I'm not an artist nor is the camera very good that I stole, must have dropped it, see i never would have stolen before this... (Focus, no sidetacks).